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Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? A: Shareholder. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. A: Rough cut. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . Clarnac: (Glares at Ed) Clarnac is supposed to be the funny guy. QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. I'm Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carson 's desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). 1952? plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Q: What did Yul Givens give after eating a prune tree? CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. I hold in my hand these During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. Clarnac: This crowd was applaud for a train wreck. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? Line: 479 which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. Thanksgiving? Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. A: The Laughing Policeman. Q: Name three movements. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? A: Flyswatter. Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. Carson 500's, The 1985. , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? The segment included several running gags. , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. Box 4, Folder 46. Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. A: "Yes man." Get a random spoof news story. Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! A: Sueeee, sueeee. Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. [+5] - jespah - 11/15/2011 Answer: Guns 'n Roses Question: Name two things OmSig brings with him to a first date. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? Q: What do you get on your fon if you leave it out all The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. A: Sex. skirt. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. A: Rub-a-dub-dub. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American A: Natural gas. CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your Function: _error_handler, Message: Invalid argument supplied for foreach(), File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. Line: 208 A: Old wive's tale. CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on A: Mr. Coffee. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. CARNAC: May a camel chip float in your martini. kaleido? Starring: Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon; Directed by: Bobby Quinn; The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson - Show Date: 05/24/84. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way will ascertain the questions having never before seen the answers. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. Line: 478 I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. plunger. The character was introduced in 1964. Gotta be Q: What is a mother of 27 children? 1981 | TV-14 | CC. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! Is that a reptile? Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: E.S.T., P.M. and B.M. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? pre built n scale train layouts. The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: Name two rams and a goat. Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. Jackie Lynch 242 followers More information A: Never on Sunday. Forum Novelties. Carnac the Magnificent. A: The 11th Hour. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. A: Fondue. A little hard to keep on. by BMcCJ. Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. A: Earth, Wind and Fire. Signed, the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City." As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. All the funny items on this website are fictitious. Hoffa. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. , The Question: Why didnt Mrs. Franklin have any kids? Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. compartment in your sister. A: Putting on the dog. . The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? Line: 315 Q: What will be written on the Happy Hooker's tombstone? Margaret's door? Get Image Page 1 of 4 . Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? A: "The Dumplings." CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. A: 2001. Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? Q: What do crabs get high on? They've been kept in (croud cheers) #10. [1] KeyCastr. Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. A: Planter's Punch. So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? Carnac The Magnificent undated. CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. resuscitation with a sick lizard. This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! up your turban. A: Lady-in-waiting. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Get Image Page 2 of 4 , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. A: Black feet. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. . May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. A: A full moon We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. work? Tell a friend Ask a question. A: Mop and Glow. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. (the curse). Carson . but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these Q: Who ruined that darn rug? Ed: (Ed points to the nearest exit and hands Clarnac the first envelop and says) Envelop number 1. JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. [1] tissue. The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. A: "Here's Boomer." How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? . Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? The book is {\it May You! In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Question Man". The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by The answer: "Sis boom bah." The Answer: No more years! Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. . Prime Video. A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? envelopes. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. a #2 mayonnaise The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. As a child of four can The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." seen them before. , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent" joke? A: Quarter Pounder. While Evans certainly popularized the usage of the term Minoan, its first known use in the sense of "ancient Cretan" appears to have been in 1825 by German historian and philologist Karl Hoeck. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. Its hard to divine when you cant see. . "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. A: Groundhog. The Answer: He unfollowed Putin on Twitter. A: Stick 'em up! The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. stops. , The Question: Who is the biggest conservative in the Republican Party? NO ONE! The funny story above is a satire or parody. Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. 99 $28.11 $28.11. sister. by ThomasFay. CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. , The Question: How did Clarnacs wife lose 240 pounds of unwanted fat? As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. dee? Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. . A: A thousand clowns. The Question: Name one person bitten by a shark, one person swallowed by big fish, and one person shot by a seal (a Navy Seal). ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? Im Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carsons desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. A: Milk and honey. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee.

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